Is Father’s Day hard for you? I feel that. Not everyone has the iconic dream father that seems to be infiltrating our society in this day and age. Sure, most of us share in some popular traditions – the grill out with pops, the dinner as a family; if you have more of a one-on-one thing going, it may be just you and your dad sharing the check. But here’s something a lot of us don’t think about (unless of course, you’re one of these people): Father’s Day can be a time of serious meditation for many people. Here’s the skinny, and I don’t mind admitting it: sure, I’ve had plenty of grill outs with my old man, but they weren’t exactly Facebook worthy.
Now, we can understand the difficulty of Father’s Day for folks whose fathers have passed away. We know that, inarguably, there’s a great loss in fathers who have left. There are many of us who don’t even know our biological father – let alone have been blessed with an adopted father (if you don’t know your dad, it’s harder to get a new one than you may think). But even so, there’s another type of Father’s Day frenzy we often take for granted. What about the broken father-child relationships?
Let me make something clear: I don’t know my dad, but I love my dad. I try to think about the positive things he has done and the wise things he has said. Yes, I have to exercise caution, but I don’t let that keep me from appreciating the good. I think we all have at least one person like this in our life – someone who has deeply hurt us or tested the measure of our love, but we know we must remain true to them and bless them anyway. Now that I’m a woman, I may no longer grill out with my dad on Father’s Day, but I still send him a text to tell him that I love him and ask if he’s doing well.
Although a lot of us may not care to admit it, I believe more people struggle with a broken father-child relationship than we can spot with the naked eye. For me, Father’s Day has always been a day to ponder the purpose of life. The truth is that you can feel confused about not having something many other people have, or you can pull up your bootstraps and ask what it can teach you. We can’t all have everything, and the world doesn’t owe us anything. By realizing this, we can harness even the things we don’t have – not only for our own enhancement, but for the world’s. I have questions nearly every holiday season. Questions like: “Why am I different?” “What does life have in store for me that required I need a different experience?” “How can I find and help others who are feeling the same way?” “How can I make this simply something that is unique, and not something that is ‘bad,’ per say?”
So if you’re reading this blog post and know what I’m talking about, here’s one to you: Happy Father’s Day to everyone out there who can’t say “Happy Father’s Day” without asking questions. It’s ok to ask questions. It’s ok to realize you’re different. It’s ok to be ok with that. But even if your dad is not superhero material, send him a text today and tell him you still love him.
Love you all so much (xoxo),